VMware
I would be using qemu-kvm by choice, but school is using VMware... Rather than provide IT support for myself if I had a networking issue/etc, I chose to install VMware. And at least I don't have to pay for it, as school provides a key; I would likely have just used Qemu otherwise. While school is on workstation 11, 11 flatly fails to work on current linux. I could not force it to work on debian despite performing a few arcane rituals, though I could at least make it respond a bit more. A classmate had the same issue on fedora. So, I went and installed workstation 12 instead, and it-just-works™.
The Issue
It likes to open two ports by default, and it doesn't really tell you it is doing so...
~ -> nmap -sV 10.0.0.3
Starting Nmap 7.01 ( https://nmap.org ) at 2016-03-16 17:44 EDT
Nmap scan report for doom.lan (10.0.0.3)
Host is up (0.00013s latency).
Not shown: 997 closed ports
PORT STATE SERVICE VERSION
22/tcp open ssh OpenSSH 7.2p2 Debian 1 (protocol 2.0)
443/tcp open ssl/http VMware VirtualCenter Web service
902/tcp open ssl/vmware-auth VMware Authentication Daemon 1.10 (Uses VNC, SOAP)
Service Info: OS: Linux; CPE: cpe:/o:linux:linux_kernel
Service detection performed. Please report any incorrect results at https://nmap.org/submit/ .
Nmap done: 1 IP address (1 host up) scanned in 13.14 seconds
~ ->
So, port 443 and 902 are being put up by VMware...
The Fix
To deal with port 443, you will need to:
Menu -> Edit -> Preferences -> Shared VMs, untick "Enable virtual machine sharing and remote access".
To deal with port 902 is a bit harder. You will need to edit /etc/init.d/vmware and /etc/init.d/vmware-workstation-server.
For /etc/init.d/vmware comment out the four places containing "Authentication Daemon".
298 vmware_start_authdlauncher() {
299 #vmware_bg_exec "`vmware_product_name` Authentication Daemon" \
300 #"$SBINDIR/vmware-authdlauncher"
301 }
~~~
348 #vmware_exec 'VMware Authentication Daemon' vmware_start_authdlauncher
~~~
360 stop)
361 echo 'Stopping VMware services:'
362 exitcode='0'¬
363
364 #vmware_exec 'VMware Authentication Daemon' vmware_stop_authdlauncher
~~~
388 #vmware_exec 'VMware Authentication Daemon' vmware_start_authdlauncher
And for /etc/init.d/vmware-workstation-server:
16 ### END INIT INFO¬
17 echo Aborting launch of vmware-workstation-server¬
18 exit 0¬